We Begin At The End

One of the more common questions I get concerning relationships is “What am I meant to learn from this?” It’s a good question and one I encourage because, whether we are meant to or not, relationship experiences give us the opportunity to learn deeply about ourselves, about others, and about the world we live in. Relationships, positive/negative/neutral, are a concentrated way to foster wisdom in each of us as almost every great story fictional and historical will attest. Sometimes the relationship is meant to be a mirror, a way to see one or more of our issues and to work on them. Other times a relationship is about our fulfilling a role, putting into practice things we have already learned and allowing them to manifest through our actions and their influence on others.

What can sometimes come as a surprise is when I look at a current relationship only to find that all the lessons have been learned. Everything in the contract between the couple has been accomplished and there is nothing left to do. In this situation I will ask some additional questions which prompt the person into relating, in detail, what I’m seeing in the contract. Most often they are no longer satisfied in the relationship because their needs aren’t getting met. They know the other person is not going to change or miraculously come to some state of enlightenment about the situation. There has been no lack of clarity or communication…